by Shawn Ali
Zzzz....zzzz....zzzz...
As you step into my tiny cell, you are a little disappointed to find my unconscious body napping peacefully on my bunk in the late afternoon. You're tempted to wake me up for the thought-provoking, interactive blog - conversations you've come to enjoy since you became my virtual celly, but you decide instead to take a patient seat on the foot end of my bunk, hoping I might stir awake at any moment. As you wait, you can't help but wonder what my fertile mind is dreaming, the complex travel path of my imaginative thoughts, as they creatively navigate through a colorful realistic maze of wild images and storylines that morph into contradictory scenes that wouldn't co-exist in the real world. Your curious eyes roam my neat cell, transfixing on the pictures of the people who believe in me and support me, the FREE SHAWNALI.COM printouts that are strategically scattered about. You notice several motivational objects. You run your hand over my two college degrees that are propped up at the end of my bunk. Your eyes shift to the big-lettered computer generated phrase of the day "Visualize The Inevitable." Then you read the quote of the day hanging on my wall "We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations." You're about to leave, when you see it, there on my chest; a small green hardback journal that is open and being cuddled protectively by one arm. Without waking me, you reach for the forbidden fruit slowly slipping it from my loose grip.
...........They are invading my personal space; I can feel them reaching into my arms, Why are they taking my treasure from me? Its mine, I worked so hard for it, wait - come back! Why cant I stop them? Clank-clank, oh that's why the metal from the handcuffs bite into my wrists and I'm suspended in a spiderweb of chains. A doll-faced black spider with wild long black hair is crawling towards me, jangling brass keys on each of her eight legs. The sweet alluring voice coming from her pouty lips reverberates loudly as if it's being transmitted from an intercom and speaking through me in a seductive tone that irresistible arouses me with each hypnotic word. As she stares ravenously below my waist, her almond shaped eyes light up with fiery desire. She proposes a deal; she agrees to give me my freedom in exchange for an orgasm and my seed. I accept on the condition that i get to kiss her first. Our lips lock in wet ecstasy until I'm the only one moving. My romantic kiss of death paralyses her into a motionless state. I find the right key - click. Unlock the cuffs, I flap my wings, flying out of a broken window, chasing my treasure.....
While I continue to sleep and dream, you reluctantly open my green book to the page I had marked, telling yourself that if you discover something too personal, you will immediately put it back. You see a title at the top of the page, I WANT TO BE FREE, and underneath it, these poetic words follow:
While I continue to sleep and dream, you reluctantly open my green book to the page I had marked, telling yourself that if you discover something too personal, you will immediately put it back. You see a title at the top of the page, I WANT TO BE FREE, and underneath it, these poetic words follow:
| There are dark days when I don't have hope I want to cut my sheet and make a death rope when I want to feel a piece of fleeting freedom I put ketchup on chips and drink a Classic Coke at night, when I hear my faucet dripping my fears speak my eyes leak streams of tears down my cheeks as I think . . . of my wrongful conviction case I pace, my cell nowhere to go in my race but last place have I given up? HELL NO - NEVER! keep running in my cage fueled by my inner rage could bitch, moan, complain but I pray, pray, and pray Visualizing the Inevitable see myself on the concert stage my inner man is resilient and getting stronger everyday read an inspiring quote that showed me the way "two places where a man can become anything he wants in life a university and a prison" | thanks Malcom X discovered some priceless treasures inside of me that were buried and hidden I did what doubters said was forbidden earned, not one ー but two college degrees with a GPA of 3.963 turned my tiny cell into a . . . library, studio, and laboratory my incarceration is a renaissance journey. though my body is a slave my mind is FREE my imagination and creativity is evolving constantly like a butterfly my mind takes flight I read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill every morning every night even at my lowest I find the will within to believe and fight no matter how dark my prison stay gets at the end of the tunnel I can now see the light and with parole close it's getting bright in my sight beyond these walls and fences are an incredible future and life |
(You turn the pages searching for something else intriguing to read. Each page has a single world heading with several paragraphs under each word...... Abstract (turn page) ... Accomplishment ... America ... Abortion ... Attitude (you scan a few lines) ... Bald Eagle, Battlefield, Beast) you read the first line, "Deep in the chambers of our inner person, our spirits flicker like a white flame sustaining life in the fragile frame of our bodies, but lurking in the secret shadows of every person....." (turn page)....Beautiful.... (you stop here and read):
The first light of dawn eclipsing the darkness; the sun peeking new day rays over the jagged edge of the glimmering horizon, snow-capped mountains melting... dripping... draining.... into meandering fresh-churning creeks and streams that cut through flourishing forests. A busy bee buzzing in a field of fresh flowers, veins of white lightning flashing erratically across a black sky. Raindrops falling.
A baby's first word "mama," spoken, or the first awkward step taken in life. Crooked kindergarten letters drawn in crayons the mind's ability to learn manifested. A son or daughter imitating their parent's morals, mannerisms and maturity. The sight of a careless boy becoming a responsible, respectful man, a clumsy, excited girl becoming a ravishing refined woman. The wink and excited timeless facial expression right before the high school graduation hats are tossed collectively in the air. An I-did-it smile on the face after all the challenges and obstacles. Tears falling.
Establishing a life vision, seeking to fulfill the vision, through following the plans of obtaining a degree and pursuing a successful career, meeting the love of our lives, flower girls, vows, rings and an unforgettable kiss to seal the ultimate covenant - marriage. A husband and wife making pure love with pure motives. The birth of a newborn. The rusty colors of autumn. A leaf falling.
A simple walk in a park, inhaling fresh air. A bubble bath, crackling wood blazing in a fireplace. Lovers holding hands. Icicles hanging from the edges of creation. Unique snowflakes dotting the ground. A gentleman escorting an elderly lady across the street. Grandparents blessing their grandchildren profusely with hugs, rewards and lessons of life.The amber sky fading yellow, orange, pink, red, purple into twilight blue. Ah yes life is beautiful, mortality falling into eternity.
......the more I fly, the bigger and stronger my wings seem to get. There they are, my golden sphere containing my goals, dreams radiate brightly in the hands of the dark shadowy thieves who stole my treasure. The closer I get, the brighter my treasure shines, we're connected. It's mine. Magnetically I feel my treasure gravitating towards me on its own until it returns into my arms. As soon as I become one with my treasure, I find myself confined to the spider web of chains. Damn, I cannot shake this crazy bitch. There she is, the wild flowing hair, seductive intercom voice, lusty eyes, the arousal is overwhelming. She's got me. The pleasure, the euphoria, the pain, the fatal sting of ... (my eyes flick open) ...
Hey I caught you my virtual celly, why were you trying to slip my creative journal from my grasp? Oh, so you were putting it back. That means you read something. No need to apologize or to feel bad, what’s done is done. Honestly I don't mind. There's nothing top-secret inside, just my random creative reflections. In prison, if i get caught slipping and you catch me with my guard down then that's on me (to a degree, it depends on what it is), so I hope you enjoyed some of my creative poetic writings that I've only shared with a few souls. Next time we'll talk about HARD WORK - LEGALIZED PRISON SLAVERY.
The first light of dawn eclipsing the darkness; the sun peeking new day rays over the jagged edge of the glimmering horizon, snow-capped mountains melting... dripping... draining.... into meandering fresh-churning creeks and streams that cut through flourishing forests. A busy bee buzzing in a field of fresh flowers, veins of white lightning flashing erratically across a black sky. Raindrops falling.
A baby's first word "mama," spoken, or the first awkward step taken in life. Crooked kindergarten letters drawn in crayons the mind's ability to learn manifested. A son or daughter imitating their parent's morals, mannerisms and maturity. The sight of a careless boy becoming a responsible, respectful man, a clumsy, excited girl becoming a ravishing refined woman. The wink and excited timeless facial expression right before the high school graduation hats are tossed collectively in the air. An I-did-it smile on the face after all the challenges and obstacles. Tears falling.
Establishing a life vision, seeking to fulfill the vision, through following the plans of obtaining a degree and pursuing a successful career, meeting the love of our lives, flower girls, vows, rings and an unforgettable kiss to seal the ultimate covenant - marriage. A husband and wife making pure love with pure motives. The birth of a newborn. The rusty colors of autumn. A leaf falling.
A simple walk in a park, inhaling fresh air. A bubble bath, crackling wood blazing in a fireplace. Lovers holding hands. Icicles hanging from the edges of creation. Unique snowflakes dotting the ground. A gentleman escorting an elderly lady across the street. Grandparents blessing their grandchildren profusely with hugs, rewards and lessons of life.The amber sky fading yellow, orange, pink, red, purple into twilight blue. Ah yes life is beautiful, mortality falling into eternity.
......the more I fly, the bigger and stronger my wings seem to get. There they are, my golden sphere containing my goals, dreams radiate brightly in the hands of the dark shadowy thieves who stole my treasure. The closer I get, the brighter my treasure shines, we're connected. It's mine. Magnetically I feel my treasure gravitating towards me on its own until it returns into my arms. As soon as I become one with my treasure, I find myself confined to the spider web of chains. Damn, I cannot shake this crazy bitch. There she is, the wild flowing hair, seductive intercom voice, lusty eyes, the arousal is overwhelming. She's got me. The pleasure, the euphoria, the pain, the fatal sting of ... (my eyes flick open) ...
Hey I caught you my virtual celly, why were you trying to slip my creative journal from my grasp? Oh, so you were putting it back. That means you read something. No need to apologize or to feel bad, what’s done is done. Honestly I don't mind. There's nothing top-secret inside, just my random creative reflections. In prison, if i get caught slipping and you catch me with my guard down then that's on me (to a degree, it depends on what it is), so I hope you enjoyed some of my creative poetic writings that I've only shared with a few souls. Next time we'll talk about HARD WORK - LEGALIZED PRISON SLAVERY.
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